Lockdown Life

Dear Liam, I needed a break. I took a break from spreading awareness through your Instagram page for a bit because the perfect world of Instagram was becoming just a little too much for your Mummy, the world was becoming a little too much for your Mummy. It is the longest break I have had…

Support

Liam, it has been nearly a year since I have written to you, I know you understand why and I know you will forgive how rough this will be. I needed to take care of both my body and mind when pregnant with your sister. I couldn’t allow myself to pour emotions and my soul…

Say their name

Liam, your Daddy and I and our immediate family and friends say your name with ease in conversations. We talk about what we think you would have looked like now. We discuss how we think Caden would have reacted if you had done this action or made certain types of sounds. We include your name…

Seeking Help

When I fell pregnant with you Liam I naturally thought of all the firsts we would share and explore together, one of them was not our first counselling session. When we break a bone or suffer an illness we go and see a doctor. So, it made sense to me when my heart and mind…

What if…

Liam, just then for the hundredth time today I played the ‘what if’ game. I am starting to believe I will engage in this game until my final day. I don’t want to partake in it and I don’t intend to but I find the more days that accumulate after your death, the more opportunities…

Memorial Service

Liam, today I walked into your room. Unfortunately, over the months we have placed a few items into one of the corners and have not yet re-homed them. It is definitely on the to-do list, like so many other things but for the time being your space is currently being shared. You are sharing it…

My Body

Liam, this week Mummy has been continuing her self-care. It has been a long time since I looked after my body the way I used to, I think in a way I have been punishing it. Liam, in the early weeks after your death I would become so upset about what happened and how it…

The Ripples

Liam, recently your brother and I have made a really big effort to go out for a walk every day. Probably not the best season to start a plan to do at least 5k a day but definitely the right time, we have made it a priority to nourish the body and soul this month….

I wish

Liam what am I meant to wish for now…knowing that the only thing I wish for can’t come true? Since your death Liam it seems I am surrounded by opportunities to ‘make a wish’, dandelion heads, wishbones and eyelashes to name a few. Invitations to birthday parties are harmless enough and I find a way…